这题反而不太会写，本来想一条一条驳斥，就是失业率， 过去不能代表未来啥的。 可是后来发现其实一条一条写过来说的也就是一个点， 所给证据无法结论。所以写成现在这样了。关键貌似找不到递进， 3个点都是平行的。The author believe that corporations should consider Helios when looking for new business opportunities or a new location because the unemployment rate was low, the city is the industrial center with good past job records and the city is planing to attract more companies. Here, however, the author omits many important aspects that needed to be addressed to substantiate the argument, leaving the argument unconvincing and vulnerable. First off, the author did not address why these points- low unemployment rate, industrial center, and future plans- can benefit corporations, because lower unemployment can mean less readily available labors in the market, past experience place no guarantee in the future, and attracting more companies can make increase the competitiveness in the market. The author fails make convincing argument that these points can benefit a company, making the argument ill-founded. Second, event the points listed in the argument can somehow benefit corporations, the author still did not address why Helios is better off than all other cities. Because the author never address other cities and did not addresses why these points can be decisive advantages for Helios. Different companies are looking for different merits in different cities, for example, some companies are looking for nature resources as the decisive point to open their new branches, others may looking for location and transport facilities as the decisive points. The author made a over generalized statement. last, the author did not address why the points listed can be new business opportunities. Because the author never address the market in the Helios, nor does he address the potential customers in than city, throughout the passage there is nothing that can used to buttress the idea that there are business opportunities in city Helios.

这题反而不太会写，本来想一条一条驳斥，就是失业率， 过去不能代表未来啥的。 可是后来发现其实一条一条写过来说的也就是一个点， 所给证据无法结论。所以写成现在这样了。关键貌似找不到递进， 3个点都是平行的。The author believe that corporations should consider Helios when looking for new business opportunities or a new location because the unemployment rate was low, the city is the industrial center with good past job records and the city is planing to attract more companies. Here, however, the author omits many important aspects that needed to be addressed to substantiate the argument, leaving the argument unconvincing and vulnerable. First off, the author did not address why these points- low unemployment rate, industrial center, and future plans- can benefit corporations, because lower unemployment can mean less readily available labors in the market, past experience place no guarantee in the future, and attracting more companies can make increase the competitiveness in the market. The author fails make convincing argument that these points can benefit a company, making the argument ill-founded. Second, event the points listed in the argument can somehow benefit corporations, the author still did not address why Helios is better off than all other cities. Because the author never address other cities and did not addresses why these points can be decisive advantages for Helios. Different companies are looking for different merits in different cities, for example, some companies are looking for nature resources as the decisive point to open their new branches, others may looking for location and transport facilities as the decisive points. The author made a over generalized statement. last, the author did not address why the points listed can be new business opportunities. Because the author never address the market in the Helios, nor does he address the potential customers in than city, throughout the passage there is nothing that can used to buttress the idea that there are business opportunities in city Helios.

想请问英老师，我还有一周考试，想请问作文模版是否可行（配行文思路） 我引用的是OG15的P799，第一篇。 行文如下： The author argues that “Stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer”. He cited evidences to support his conclusion. However, the example he used cannot fully support his justification, and I will elaborate the deficiencies in his arguments through the following discussion. 第一段，指明author结论，已经此文意图。 In this argument, the author states that “Middle-aged consumers devote 39% of their expenditure, while younger consumers devote 25% of their expenditure to department store”. In order to reach his conclusion, the author reasons that because “the number of middle-aged consumers will increase, the retail sales of department stores will increase.” 第二段，复述author说了什么，以及他是如何reach他的conclusion的。 First of all, the failed to demonstrate a connection between the increase of middle-aged consumers and the increase of retail sales of department store. It is very possible that because of the popularization of online consume, middle-aged consumers in the future are more likely to “go shopping” at home, as long as using computer and internet. 第三段，开始我的argue，先指出第一个错误点及何种错误。再举了个例子来支持我的argue Furthermore, the author cited data that “Middle-aged consumers devote 39% of their expenditure, while younger consumers devote 25% of their expenditure to department store” is insufficient. It is vague unless the author mentions what the total expenditure figure of middle-aged consumers and younger consumers are. For instance, the total expenditure of Middle-age consumers is $1000 per year, while the total expenditure of younger consumers is $5000 per year. Thus, the total expenditure of Middle-aged consumers is lower than it of younger consumers. 第四段，指出第二个错误，用反证的方式提出驳斥，并加以例子进行解释。 Finally but not least, the author unfairly assumes that strategies nowadays are applicable in the future. It is possible that the department store is unlikely to experience the same consequence if it adopts author’s conclusion in the coming 5 years. In the next 5 years, the younger consumers will get richer to afford various commodity. Younger consumers will be the major consume group in the society. 指出第三个错误，并提出另外一种可能性来驳斥。 From the reasons given above, there are several severe deficiencies in author’s justification, the conclusion of author “Stores should begin to replace some of those products intended to attract the younger consumer with products intended to attract the middle-aged consumer” is untenable. 最后进行总结。 我的argue思路是，先总描述author说了什么，他如何reach他的conclusion，然后每一个错误，都以 1.指出错误类型 2.阐述为何错误 3.进行驳斥（可举例，反证，他因，刨祖坟） 套话尽量减少，多写实例。字数在350-400字内 请老师指点。谢谢