下面是我的作文，老师您看一下可以怎么修改。我感觉自己驳斥的点好像不够充分。还有总体结构什么的您看看有什么可以修改的地方。 作文：In respond to the choice of whether to work in color or in black-and-white ,as well as the tendency of the color, the argument that there are more types of color film than black-and-white film available today suffers a number of flaws that must be addressed to substantiate. The conclusion that photographers who work in color have an advantage over those who work in black-and-white can not be supported by the dubious assumption and the tenuous evidence, it needs to be reappraised careful. First, the argument does not explain the difference between color and black-and-white, as well as why the color has been more used than the black-and-white today. However, without the evidence or explanation offered by the author, we do not know whether the cause of choosing the color rather than the black-and-white. In fact , different situations need different choices, for example, there are some photographers like the black-and-white photo art and their photos got the award in the competition. Second, the argument that using the color means the success and the color photographs are more true-to-life need to mandate a re-evaluation. How can the author get this point? There is no doubt that the color photographs are more true-to-life, but the art of the black-and-white is popular in the artists who give the reaction to our society by their the black-and-white work which can eliminate the other factors that will influence the main idea of their work. Moreover, the argument describes that the magazines and the newspapers are also starting to use color photographs. In fact, the decision can not be regarded as the good way to attract the readers. Because the color photographs mean the rising of the cost, and the added cost will improve the price of the magazines newspapers. The way of attracting the people to buy magazines and newspapers is to improve their context and the reality. Finally, the conclusion that photographers who work in color have an advantage omit a serious concern. Because using the color photographs just a way to attract more the new customer and retain the old customer and it does not exist a best way to solve the problem. From the given reason above, the justification of the argument is undermined by several deficiencies, the conclusion 'the point of the color that photographers who work in color have an advantage over those who work in black-and-white' can not drawn from the evidence that has been proved. If it included the point of the explaining of the color or the comparison, the argument would have been more thorough and persuasive.

首先，感谢英老师 上一道题缜密清晰的思维讲解，我再追问一下： （一）本题，对于文章开头的主题有些理解上跟其他老师有偏差，我已开始把基调定在了：彩色照片摄影师和黑白照片摄影师职业生涯哪个才是successful的，后续有一些例证原文说如何判断彩色照片更胜一筹（也就是彩照的摄影师们职业生涯更出色）。所以如果这样的话很有可能路就走偏了。请您看一下这道题我应该如何理解和避免类似的偏差。 同时我把经过老师提示梳理出来的新的思路放在下面：请帮我看一下是否还有遗漏或者错误的地方： 1，没用彩色的是什么原因导致的原文并没给出具体内容。有的杂志背景主题也许需要彩色体现；而有的杂志也许是需要黑白题材的照片的。同时，报纸方面也有类似的需求差异。而且为了符合不同人群的品味，有可能对照片类型的需求也是不同的。所以没有足够证据证明，彩色的一定就比黑白好。 2，彩色胶卷出现的更多了，选择也可能会更多，价格可能更便宜，但这些都不能够足以证明彩色胶卷质量更好了。 3，就算彩色胶卷各方面都好，也不能证明如此照出来的彩色film就是最正确或者最合适的选择。如果对于一些特殊要求和需要黑白胶卷的，那选择彩色的就不应是最佳选择；因此有时候选择黑白的还会更好达到预期的效果。 （二），我周三就考第一次，思维的确没有质变（很惭愧，老师讲的都很好，是我没能找到开窍的点，我还在尝试反复去锻炼逻辑链，反复听英老师的答疑录音）。对于作文这边，我还想问问您，我用一般现在时（跟OG后面的范文类似）的表达就都是没问题的吧，求一个踏实，就问问您。还有鸡精需要看作文的么？ （三），其实我特别想再听您OG精讲，但这个功能我在上课后没有任何提示和特别告知，导致我听完您的面授就发现不能听了，其实也挺郁闷的。我的课程助教说开课后就开通了这个权限了，但是，那么多权限账号哪记得住啊，还希望后台技术师傅可以做一个在页面上提示每个专项课程的权限和截止日。我不知道自己的例子是否具有代表性，如果说多了，您就忽略吧。 （四），逻辑上“有关无关”的问题，有时候可能这根链条本身对于我来讲就理解的有时候跟老师的思维是有偏差的，所以我还在反复看之前错题用英老师的方法去对着正确答案总结我的薄弱点。虽然转变比较困难，但是这个备考过程真的对我的意识形态起到了变革的影响作用。 还有一个事，就是您之前提过贴博小智让老师免费修改作文的，是不是也就是这样提提建议类型？好像真的不支持修改作文，哈哈我试过贴了一篇英文的，老师语音回了一下就没了。只有英老师是细致地抓出我的逻辑漏洞并且逐一敲在博小智里头把中问思路顺下来的。 没了。谢谢各位老师。不管我能不能通过G的考验，我觉得这些课程都是很好的经历。学员：董莺。

老师，我下周很快就要考试了。请老师批改一下我可以用在考场上的套路。谢谢！我的逻辑链还是有一定问题您可以一并指出 我谢谢！ This argument describes a discrepancy between color photographs and blak-and-white ones, which concludes that work opportunities will favor photographers who work in color rather than those who work in black-and-white. The statement illustrates several comparisions between the two types of photographers' works to show the reasoning. 1, There is no further evidence whether "to be successful" is a broad or narrow meaning for the photographer. What can be called successful is yet to be discussed. 2, If the benchmarks for a photographer to be successful is to first bear in mind that color photogrphs are used by magazines, it still does not give evidence that what this type of magazines are and what target customers are for such magazines. Some other possible factors will also influence the reason that why these magazines prefer more color photgraphs than black-and-white ones. 3, If the fact were that magazines adored color photographs, it hardly shows any connections between the usage of color photographs in magazines and the adoption of color photographs in many newspapers. Again, we still do not know what kind of such newspapers is, and whether there is more space for black-and-white phtographs market. 4, Realism does to some extent reflect reality and most portrait stutuios prefer using these color film, nevertherless, there are other possibilities that many other group of people cherish the black-and-white film to see the real colorful world in a different way. 5, That more types of color film are availbale nowadays show no sings that people do not like black-and-white film today. So photographers who work in color may be successful, but it does not mean that photographers who work in black-and-white can not be successful as well. These two things are not against each other. These are two fields that have competence and uniqueness in different ways. So in conclusion, the whole statement arbitrarily define a photographer's success in work by using a standard whether he use color film or black-and-while one. This criterium can not solely consist of the success for a photographer's work.

下面是我的作文，老师您看一下可以怎么修改。我感觉自己驳斥的点好像不够充分。还有总体结构什么的您看看有什么可以修改的地方。 作文：In respond to the choice of whether to work in color or in black-and-white ,as well as the tendency of the color, the argument that there are more types of color film than black-and-white film available today suffers a number of flaws that must be addressed to substantiate. The conclusion that photographers who work in color have an advantage over those who work in black-and-white can not be supported by the dubious assumption and the tenuous evidence, it needs to be reappraised careful. First, the argument does not explain the difference between color and black-and-white, as well as why the color has been more used than the black-and-white today. However, without the evidence or explanation offered by the author, we do not know whether the cause of choosing the color rather than the black-and-white. In fact , different situations need different choices, for example, there are some photographers like the black-and-white photo art and their photos got the award in the competition. Second, the argument that using the color means the success and the color photographs are more true-to-life need to mandate a re-evaluation. How can the author get this point? There is no doubt that the color photographs are more true-to-life, but the art of the black-and-white is popular in the artists who give the reaction to our society by their the black-and-white work which can eliminate the other factors that will influence the main idea of their work. Moreover, the argument describes that the magazines and the newspapers are also starting to use color photographs. In fact, the decision can not be regarded as the good way to attract the readers. Because the color photographs mean the rising of the cost, and the added cost will improve the price of the magazines newspapers. The way of attracting the people to buy magazines and newspapers is to improve their context and the reality. Finally, the conclusion that photographers who work in color have an advantage omit a serious concern. Because using the color photographs just a way to attract more the new customer and retain the old customer and it does not exist a best way to solve the problem. From the given reason above, the justification of the argument is undermined by several deficiencies, the conclusion 'the point of the color that photographers who work in color have an advantage over those who work in black-and-white' can not drawn from the evidence that has been proved. If it included the point of the explaining of the color or the comparison, the argument would have been more thorough and persuasive.